You left the freys
from the ties you severed
when you said best friends
means friends forever

I miss my best friend. it smoments like these when she used to call and make me realize OH YEA that's why we're best friends. but she hasn't been calling. and I've been trying to keep up face. that everythings gonna be ok once i get there. once I get off that plane and get down that escalator and see her there .

and it will be i know. cos it HAS to be right?

iono. it better be is all I'm saying. cos without her I'd be...not who i am today. so i hope things get better. I mean i know shes busy. bein alll workish and then keeping her manfriend happy. and then being all into her family.

shes not like me and my family. her fmaily isnt so broken. and her life isnt so ...iono shaky.

sometimes i feel like mines is. like if you were to watch my life on a screen t would always be tracking. it would always be filmy and blurry around the edges. and it would look like a really old VHS with bad reception.

and sometime si kno she feels like that too. but i never see it that way wheni  look at her . its always giving me hope. and i Just hope we cana nd will stay friends forever.

sometimes victory isnt as sweet as you would think it would be. sometimes victory and being right are what hurts someone. someone whom you wanted to be hurt childishly before but someone whome u decided mattered more than your shattered heart. someon ewhom u hoped would be happy. and then their heart was shattered the same way yours was. and urs is slowly mending. you havent exactly moved on but you have decided this person is nt right fo ryou. so you're with someone new. and u kno u love this other person but this new person is justa s amazing if not more. so what do you do??

while i wanted nothing less than for yout o feel the pain i felt when u walked away. now that you're feeling it i want nothing less than for you to feel good again. to be your old self. who didnt feel like everwhere he turned there was a face full of falsehoods and lies.

spring break...what a drag...

wella t least so far..i hope everything else like the rest of the "weekend" and then the week go way better than tonite. cos yea tonite was insane an dall i wanted was for blake to b there and he couldnt b. which made me upset but thats not why tonite sucked. sumhow eric finds sumway to tell me sumthin about jeff that just RUINS my night. always. and its starting to get old. seriously. i wish he'd pcik one. be my friend or talk shit about me. seriously.

that was about jeff

not eric

just had to make that clear

his name is blake. and he makes me giggle in spite of everything. i hope he digs me as much as i THINK he does...

^-^

oh and hes super sexay i mean how can that be bad??

things are lookin up...or maybe not...cos then theyd b lookin in the sun and that just wouldnt be too good...

the weathers getting warmer and i have a new prospective opportuinty. a ne wway out.

i'm excited and i hope i can make it cos if i dont i think my soul my flame will be smothered. i need the oxygenated high of freedom again.